Jesus

Lately, I have been thinking alot about religion and its role in my life. Growing up I was not exposed to religion besides going to church on occasions with family or friends. I believe it was during my senior year of high school when I got the urge to become "more religious" and made the decision to find a church of my own. So I decided to go to the local Catholic Church with my grandmother. I did not attend every Sunday, but when I did, I would leave out with a sense of renewal. It seemed as if a cloud of happiness would hang over my head for the rest of the day. I did not understand the meaning and source of this happiness until recently.

Once I moved to Austin, my life took a 180 degree turn. I began to have a new outlook on what's important in life and how to perceive the world around me. Honestly, Professor Bump's class played a huge part in my transformation especially in my religious views. Reading and discussing religion in our close knit family along with attending a recent lecture about Jesus has helped my realize the history of what I believe in. Before the topic of religion came up in class, I was different in my faith practices by just praying more. I no longer only pray at night but all through the day now. Over the past couple of weeks, I've learned more about who I am praying to and what I am praying about. It's just like a Government or U.S. History class that focuses on the structure of our Constitution and the natural rights of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness guaranteed to every individual; I have learned what kind of individual Jesus was and his impact on all of us.

Can I ever become an extraordinary individual like Jesus? Can I even come close to appreciating "that [God] loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins?" (1John 4:7, 113) I know that I can't because the humanly tendencies of being selfish will not allow me to be, but I will do my best to come close. He sacrificed his life so the rest of the world and I can commit daily sins; individuals he did not know, strangers. I would sacrifice my life for someone that I loved, but I don't believe I would do it for someone that raped and killed innocent children. I just WOULD NOT do it, but Jesus did. I am sure it was not in the intention of children being abused, but some people take sinning to an elevated level. He sacrificed his life because there was the knowledge that we all were going to sin at some point in our life. This image of Jesus on the cross brings into perspective his unimaginable devotion. The quote stated in picture is extremely thought provoking because seeing Jesus on cross is very dramatic. It is very different than just seeing him being shoot or stabbed. Being nailed to cross evokes pain and agony. Imagine being nailed by feet and hands to wood; it's just unimaginable to me.

As I mentioned before, I feel a sense of happiness whenever I leave church. Now I feel that sense of happiness just about every second of my life because I just don't think about Jesus on Sundays for just about an hour and half but all during the day. My New Years Resolution of being happy 99% of the time was inspired by my new found interest of Jesus. "Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed" (John 20:29, 111). I feel blessed everyday when I can smile in situations where I would normally cry. I feel blessed that there was someone willing to risk their life so I could live in a world where I can become anyone I want to be and achieve goals that will make my life on earth enjoyable and worthwhile. The image of Jesus among children shows the importance of instilling religion or beliefs into our children. Children are our future and the story of Jesus can too change their lives the way it did mine. They can have someone to look up to and make their stay on earth a positive experience.

Gita II: What Is Love???

What is love? Our world is filled with people and objects that we cling to and eventually grow to "love," or so we say. But how do you know you that you've reached the point of love. Looking back on the so called relationships I had in junior high and high school, I said "I love you" in just about all of them. I know now that I did not love them; I said it because either they said "I love you" first or I felt that it was just the next thing to do in our so called relationship. I honestly feel that I did care about them, but I was not in love as I so passionately thought. I do believe that you can fall in love at a young age, but I didn't.

Since I now know that I have never been in love, I struggle with the thought of "how do you know that you are in love?" I believe that it is something that just happens, and you have no control over it. I have deceived myself in the past with the though of being in love that now I don't think I will ever truly know that I'm in love. The Gita presents a concept of love that I have always believed was a component of being in love: constantly thinking of that individual. "When the mind in an unbroken stream thinks of the Lord, we have what is called para-bhakti, or supreme love" (76). It reminds me of being infatuated when you always think of a certain person. What are they doing? Are they okay? How is their day going? This concept has given me a big clue to the idea of being in love. I definitely will think twice when I meet someone and they are constantly on my mind. Besides just having that individual consume your mind, there are other actions that takes place when you are in love. Lord Shri Krishna elaborates on these actions in a conversation with Arjuna in The Sovereign Secret chapter . "Fix your mind on Me, devote yourself to Me, sacrifice for Me, surrender to Me, make Me the object of your aspirations, and too shall assuredly become one with Me" (77). So in other words, when all of your actions and thoughts are centered around someone, that is love.

Another aspect of love that I have learned is that it cannot be wavering. Either you love them all of the time or none of the time. It cannot be turned off and on like a light switch; love is present during the good and bad times. William Shakespeare elaborates on the continuity of love in Sonnet 116. "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds Or bends with the remover to remove...Love alters not with his brief hours or weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom" (Sonnet 116). Reading these five lines of Sonnet 116 instills in me that I cannot run away from love once it gets rough. I have a tendency to run away from people or situations that have the potential to harm me. Love will be something that I cannot save myself from because it will basically hunt me down and not go away if I am experiencing pain from the one I'm in love with. I am actually now trying to prevent myself from falling in love with someone I have grown to care alot about. Now I feel that I still have control whether it reaches that point or not. So I definitely agree with Shakespeare's words of wisdom, but my present situation allows me to believe his words to a certain extent depending on the situation.

Reading the Gita and Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare, I feel that I have a clear definition of love and that I will be able to somewhat recognize when love is present in my relationships. Now I am pondering the concept of "love with detachment." Before our discussion in class, I had not heard the term "love with detachment." I have been thinking about this ever since class because I feel that if I can love with detachment, I would solve my issue of fearing what is going to come out of the situation. I grew up depending on myself and being responsible for the outcome of my decisions. Now that I am getting older and in the real world, I have learned that there are alot of things that I cannot control. I mentioned this in my first discussion about the Gita when I talked about God having an ultimate plan for us and how we have to continue through the obstacles life throws at us. Loving with detachment can definitely help us cope better with the outcome of a bad situation. For example, a divorce or a death in the family. Also, entering into our careers in the future will require some love with detachment.

My ultimate goal when it comes to choosing a career is to make sure everyday I am helping someone to better their life. In the field of law, where I believe I will ultimately choose to become a judge, I will have the priviledge of making decisions that will alter other people's life in good and bad ways. Being able to effectively do my job, I will have to set aside my emotions and do what is best for the individuals I am trying to help. I know loving with detachment will be challenging for me, but I feel it is the best approach to take when you put your heart into someone or something.

Bhagavad Gita

As I continue to grow in age, my mind continues to expand with new profound knowledge that I acquire from observing others or reading a new novel. I have come to learn that every experience I have faced and lecture I've listened to all had a message that was not always clear at first but ultimately had an influence on how I view life.


Starting off the semester with the Bhagavad Gita, in my opinion, was brilliant. It is filled with so many lessons and view points that are valuable to first year students in a huge institution like the University of Texas and more importantly the world. Since alot of practices are built from inspirational and holy books like the Gita and the Bible, it's almost a given that one can find strategies and alternatives to deal with the situations that comes with living on earth.



I am now at a stage in my life where I am responsible for making every single decision about the different aspects of my life. The responsibility also comes with dealing with the consequences if I make a wrong decision. I know that as humans we were already predetermined to sin at least once in our lifetime. Knowing that I am predestined to go wrong on my journey to adulthood, I am pressured at the present moment to know the direct career path I want to take. Whenever the typical question asked of college students come up "What are you studying," I immediately say law. The answer always seems to be "You will make alot of money being a lawyer." I was once victim to that untrue statement, but as I got older I began to see that wealthy lawyers are not in abundance and there are also average income lawyers.


Once first semester of college began, I started to really evaluate why I wanted to enter the competitive field of law. As I was reading the Gita, I learned that our main focus should be on a higher being or God and how he feels about us. I am a Christian and I believe in the Bible so I have faith in the presence of God; I believe that there is life besides the one on Earth. With that already in mind, the Gita also reiterated that I should not get caught up in worldly possessions like money and material things and focus on my relationship with God. So along with that lesson, I once again turned to the reason why I want to pursue law. I decided that the law excites me and that the financial aspect of it does not have an influence on my choice, which made me feel that I can still pursue my interests without compromising my faith and beliefs of holy books like the Gita or Bible.

Chapter One of the Gita presented another life lesson in the conversation between Lord Krishna and Arunja. "Wisdom cannot be imparted to a person unless he or she asks for it" (6). Our lives are filled with relationships and interactions with other individuals. I am known as the psychologists or the right person to talk to among my friends. I love to talk to people and help them out the best way I can, but it is extremely frustrating when I put my heart and time in helping someone resolve the problem or situation that they wasn't ultimately ready for help or change. This quote was very effective in helping me solve my problem of attempting to help others that doesn't want help. I will always keep that quote in mind because I am going to keep helping others but now I won't get so upset when they do not follow my advice right away. I am also an individual that will not make changes until I am truly ready for change. This particular part of the Gita has influenced me to become less stubborn and evaluate the suggestions of others before I dismiss their help.

"The real attitude of non-violence follows from the perception of God in all beings. Only the man whose mind has gone beyond good and evil does not resist evil, for he does not see evil" (8).

This quote introduces another aspect of life we all have to deal with. Should we retaliate with violence or negativity when others inflict pain or harm against us? My answer, of course, was YES. I feel that you should protect yourself to some extent and not let others run over you. The Gita presents a different perspective on this subject. I learned that if your devotion is with God, then you do not focus on evil and non evil but on your faith in God existing in all beings. I wish that this view point was shared throughout the world because alot of harm and devastation would be nonexistent. When I think about the quote, I absolutely believe it and see the validity. For example, the War in Iraq has been going on for several years now and there still is no clear ending point to it. Everyday Iraqis and Americans are dying because of unresolved tensions and hatred. I know see that it is not worth it to retaliate and inflict further violence to a situation because in the end, a peaceful conclusion will not become of it. I am a person that loves to argue for what I believe is right; reading this quote and the surrounding passages transitioned me to not focus on who is right or wrong but how a compromise can be reached.

In Chapter 11 Ramana Maharshi states, "The Self is universal: so all actions will go on whether you strain yourself to be engaged in them or not...It was not for him to resolve to work and worry himself about it, but to allow his own nature to carry out the will of the Higher Power" (92).

This quote goes along with the last two lessons that were discussed. We should not take justice into our own hands and should not pressure others into doing things they are not ready for, but we should leave it up to God to show them the right path. I also struggle with trying to determine exactly how my future is going to play out, but the Gita showed me that God has already predetermined the path I will take in life and to accept what happens because it is going to happen anyways. I have already encountered situations and obstacles I had not expected to face, but I am learning how to cope with them. It's kind of amusing to know that they were going to take place whether or not I wanted them to.

Lastly, I want to end with a quote from Eknath Easwaran. "All life is a battlefield...; whether we like it or not, we are born to fight. We have no choice in this, but we do have the choice of our opponent and our weapon" (8). Our life is not always going to be easy and there are always going to challenges. I feel that as I get older my maturity will increase. This quote seems to portray a mature way to look at challenges life will through at us.

The Gita was filled with many more insights and lessons. I chose these because they described the areas where I need the most improvement on how I look at life.

Seize the Moment

My first semester of college will be one that I will never forget. I feel like I have grown over the past four months and learned to appreciate my life. When New Years came around, I thought about what my resolution would be. After contemplating several days, I decided that my one resolution would be to make sure I was happy 99% of the time. This encompasses so many of the struggles I experienced during my first semester at The University of Texas.

My title "Seize the Moment" also relates to me wanting to be happy most of the time. I have always been a person that over analyze situations to the fullest existent, which usually left me unsatisfied and emotionally drained in the end. I have come to learn that it is good to plan for the future but to not wrap my head around something that I really don't have control over. I do believe that our future is in our hands, but we cannot predict every obstacle or happy moment we are to face. So, I now focus on enjoying the present and take all that I can from my classes and experiences that I endure everyday.

I feel that I did not "seize the moment" enough first semester. There were several opportunities I wish I would have taken advantage of. For example, the lectures and assignments given to me in my Research Methods class. Charlotte mentioned this particular class and Dr. Laude in her discussion, who was also my Professor. In fact, Charlotte and others in our class attended Dr. Laude's discussions and had the same opportunity as me. At the beginning of the semester, Dr. Laude explained the obstacles that came along with providing top of the line resources for first and second year undergraduates and how lucky we were to be in touch with those particular resources. Well I guess his words just went in one ear and out the other because I did not appreciate his class until the very end. I also remember my appointed visit with Dr. Laude, which make me realize what a huge mistake I had made.

Another class I failed to appreciate fully was this one, World Literature. Professor Bump has introduced me into a different type of learning and different aspects of the world I did not know existed. I can blame my ungratefulness on the average education I received from Crosby High School, but I have learned to take responsibility for my actions. In Bump's class we were introduced to so many things, which you all know. I guess when I learned of a new assignment, I would just focus on completing the assignment and not on the big picture. For example, the Ramayana and Second Life. I still don't think I really know alot about the Ramayana and that is because I failed to really look into the story and think about why Professor Bump wanted us to explore this part of history. The main reason why I could not appreciate and learn from all of our assignments is because of time management. I was the biggest procrastinator ever last semester. I am not really sure why, but I think it was because I felt that I did not have to make a big adjustment in my study habits. I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG.

I am really happy that I hit rock bottom my first semester in college because now I know how it feels to have your grades reflect the work you put into it. Since I do plan on being happy 99% of the time, I know that procrastination can no longer be apart of my life because I will be stressed out when those deadlines are approaching at rapid speeds.

I am really fortunate to be in this class because I have met some extraordinary individuals and have been introduced to all parts of the world. I look forward to growing more intellectually and getting closer to everyone in the class.