Wednesday, February 20, 2008

P4: The Ability to Put Others First

"What I spent I had; what I saved I lost; what I gave I have.”[1]

-Ancient Epitaph

[2] The one thing I cherish and love about being a citizen of the United States of America is the opportunity to pursue just about anything I can dream of. Chris Gardner, who was the inspiration of the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”, was able to go from spending nights in public bathrooms with his son to becoming a successful stock broker on Wall Street. (The nearby image shows three different clips from the movie, but I want to focus on the bottom snapshot. It illustrates how he rolled out toilet paper on a subway station's bathroom floor for his son to lay on because they did not have money to sleep anywhere else.) Christine Collins, my role model and mother, was able to go back to college at the age of forty to pursue her dream of getting a higher education while at the same time raising a family and working a full time job. When I look at extraordinary individuals like the ones mentioned previously, I get a sense of hope that I can express my passions through all of my dreams. My passion of helping those all around me, more specifically putting others’ needs before my own, has consumed my life. If I were asked the question “Would you still fulfill your passion of helping others if you were not getting anything in return?” My answer would be “YES!” That is why I have no doubt in my mind that my true passion is helping others to the best of my ability.

I do not know how I fell in love with helping others. I believe that it had something to do with the way my family raised me. Up until the age of nine, I was the baby of my immediate family; I had an older brother, which made me the one being taken care of and watched carefully. This makes me feel that my ability to consider the feelings of others started over the summers I spent with my two cousins, Patricia and Courtney, at Daddy James and Madea’s house, who are my great-grandparents. Looking back on those summers, I came to the conclusion that females are naturally born with a bossy gene. It makes us want to have our way all of the time and throw temper tantrums when things don’t go the way we want them, which is exactly what happened when the three of us was together. As the youngest, I was always forced to do what the other two wanted. Majority of the time Courtney and Patricia would fight over whether to play Restaurant, an activity where we would make mud pies and cakes out of dirt and water and gather vegetables out of our great-grandfather’s homemade garden to make salads with the leaves we snatched out of the big tree that blocked us from the heavy heat rays of the sun. The other alternative was to swing on the homemade swings our great-grandfather made for us, one was made with a chain tied from the tree and a seat made out of wood and the other was made with ropes that hung down from the big tree with a seat also made from wood. [3]
(The image of the
oak tree is very similar to the one I use to play underneath as a young girl. Oak trees provide shade and play areas where children can escape the heat in the summer.)

There were only two swings, which were always taken by the two older ones. So I was left to pretend that I was driving the broke down riding lawnmower that was placed nearby where we played. Since the swing idea would not include all three of us together, I always wanted to play Restaurant so I could be a part of the group. The dilemma of which game to play came up just about everyday and because of seniority I really did not have a say so in what we were going to do. Until, one day I came up with what I called my “brilliant plan;” I thought of a way to combine both tasks at the same time. I decided that our restaurant could have a delivery service; we could use the swings and the almost ancient lawnmower as the vehicles. It took our imaginations to have the swings as cars, but we all loved the idea. Since a restaurant always needed at least one person there, it eliminated the possibility of one of us, usually me, being excluded from the swings. Ironically, the lawnmower was the closest resemblance to a car so the first person who wanted to deliver our gourmet meals always ran to the lawnmower first.

That was my first experience of creating a way to compromise and make sure that everyone was included and satisfied in a given situation. I remember feeling really good about being the one who thought of the solution to our daily problem especially since I was “the baby,” which seemed to mean I was not capable of coming up with good decisions. That warm feeling inside stuck with me; I love the fact that I am capable of fixing things for other people. I like to ease the burden on individuals when they feel like they are unable to.

Once I reached the age of nine, I was forced to solve another dilemma, making sure my younger brother did not harm himself. When he was born, I immediately assumed the role as big sister; it was my personal mission to make sure he would always be in good hands. From the moment he started to walk it seemed as if trouble was just one step behind him. He hurt himself in just about every way one could imagine; at the age of two, he split his nose in half while jumping on the bed. Shortly after, he pulled our living room television down on top of himself. To add more injuries, he burned his arm on the barbecue pit at a family function and broke the other one while roller blading. Since he was an accident prone person, I felt that as his older sister it was up to me to protect him from himself. I began to watch him very carefully and was selective in who he played with and what activities he did. I felt like an overprotective mother, but I made it my personal responsibility to look after him when my mom was at work. Even though my brother did not directly come to me and ask for me to protect him from getting hurt, I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. He is nine years younger than I and sometimes does not realize that his dare devil stunts will mostly likely result in another trip to the emergency room. By me being his brain, so to speak, he has not had a major injury in a couple of years; I strongly believe that is a result of me being there for him. [4] (The image above provides three concepts that comes along with helping others. A sense of healing is the outcome when someone has the chance to express what they are going through and the privilege of having a friend listen. Hope is felt when I have the opportunity to see someone walk away with a better prospective on what is going on in their life after I offer my help to them. Lastly, comfort is felt when they feel like they are not alone in their situation.)

"Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing." [5]

-1 Thessalonians 5:11

When my friends nicknamed me “the therapist,” it came as no surprise. I love to sit down and genuinely listen to what individuals have to say. Listen to the experiences they have gone through and try to help them find the best method of dealing with their problems. I believe that my ability to listen and discuss issues with people stems from my own personal desire of having a certain person to confide in. Not only do I know how it feels to not have someone to talk to, but I also know how it feels to have someone sit there and appear to listen when they really are not. I want people to always remember the one time or multiple times that I have helped them. I want them to never forget that I listened to what they were going through and gave them reliable advice that was not skewed just to make them feel better. I am truthful when I help others because I would want the same if I were them. Having the opportunity to help others ultimately benefits me without my knowledge. When I experience some of the same situations as the individuals that I have helped, I already know how to handle them, and I am able to make an objective decision. Honestly, when it comes to giving advice, I tell people what I really want to have the courage to do deep down inside. They are kind of like my therapy; I can almost always see a little piece of me in those I help. When I see them following my advice, it gives me a sense of hope that I can do it as well.

[6] (The image is an illustration of a poem, which shows the benefits of helping others. It explains my statement of the gift I receive when I am able to do things for other people.)


My passion is one that should be dispersed to the hearts of many; the world would be a far better place if more people thought of others. I am not sure of where to draw the line between looking out for yourself because one can not rely on others to do everything for them and between putting others’ feelings ahead of your own. I would propose that everyone do at least one good deed for someone else everyday without the expectation of getting something in return. Since I began at a young age showing my passion, I am confident that it is indeed a passion of mine. "The Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted..." (Isaiah 61:1) [7] My body seems programmed to help others. When someone is upset or just looks like they are having a difficult time, I run to their rescue. I feel obligated to see how I can fix their problem. The happiness and feeling of accomplishment that comes along with my passion drives me to want to reach out and help others in all aspects of my life, even in my dreams.

Word Count: 1,570


[1] Ancient Epitaph

[2] http://reporter.blogs.com/risky/images/pursuitofhappynesscomposite_1.jpg

[3] http://Ih3.google.com/.../DDU8tu1VYY/s800/DSCN2736.JPG

[4] http://www.hopealiveusa.org/images/tulips_hope.jpg

[5]
Brummet, Nancy Parker; June Eaton. Prayers for Life. Publications International Ltd, (Illinois, 2002), 74.

[6] http://www.freewebs.com/royleebarrett/If%20You%20Help%20Others%208%20X%2011%206-2005%20JPG.jpg
[7] Brummet, Nancy Parker; June Eaton. Prayers for Life. Publications International Ltd, (Illinois, 2002), 80.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Who Am I?


It was no surprise to me when I read my results after taking the Jung Typology Test. It’s really weird to me that a test made by someone, who has never met me a day in their life, can determine certain things about me based on a series of questions. I will admit I’m a little skeptic when it comes to tests or so called psychics being able to tell you about yourself.


About two years, I went on a trip to Atlantic City in New Jersey. As my cousin Britney and I were walking on the boardwalk, we noticed the sign about having your palms read. We both just kind of stood there for a couple of seconds contemplating if we wanted to do it; before we could make up our minds, the woman sitting outside of the shop said, “Girls come on in.” The strange part about it is that we both just started walking into her shop at the same time. We didn’t even look at each other; it just seemed as if the woman knew exactly what we wanted to do, but we were to coward to tell the each other how we felt. To make a long story short, I left out of the palm reader’s shop in tears and in shock. She touched on things about me that I had never shared with anyone. She could tell me about certain situations of my life that was very dear to me. The same thing happened with my cousin. The palm reader hit on a major obstacle Britney had been dealing with internally and had also not shared with anyone. Now, this could all just be a coincidence, but I’m personally not as much of a skeptic as I was before due to my experience. The image illustrates the essence of having your palm read; it can be tranquil along with emotional. I will always remember that woman with the bluest eyes I had ever seen and the softest hands I have ever touched read my palm.

I had a similar experience when taking the Jung Typology Test. It confirmed details about me that I already knew were there and opened my eyes to some flaws that I try to ignore. The fact that I am an extravert is evident because I love to talk. I am not afraid to voice my opinion whether it’s right or wrong. The test showed that I am a moderately expressed extravert, which is true. Sometimes I am quiet on some issues; I don’t have the urge to always express my views openly. When it comes to writing, my extraverted style shines through. I “tend to leap into writing with little planning” (Meyers-Briggs, 398). I leap just like the image illustrates, though not as graceful. Leaping makes me feel free to express whatever I want; just being able to throw ideas out and see where it takes really helps in my writing process. When I started to write P4 “What’s Your Passion,” there was no outline; I just typed whatever came to mind. I will later go back and reorganize some things, but I wanted to just type until the thoughts stopped coming to me. It helps me to flow write, the ability to just let my mind wander and let my fingers type everything that comes to mind.

I am also extraverted when it comes to writing in the way that I “may not revise unless [I] get spoken feedback” (Meyers-Briggs, 398). This is something I am in denial about, but I do not like revising papers that much because I think it takes away from your original thoughts. I do believe in some revision like correcting grammar or punctuation; when revision makes you change ideas, that’s when I tend to look down on it.

The Jung Test made me realize how structured I can be. For example, when it comes to my classes, I need a Professor that is organized and can produce accurate and detailed syllabuses. Nothing drives me crazy more than when I am confused about something and don’t know what’s going on. Like the image shows, I will literally want to pull my hair out when I am confused. It makes me discombobulated. Other than when it comes to writing papers, I have to have a plan. I need to know what I am doing ahead of time; otherwise, it can cause me to have something similar to a panic attack. Along with me being a structured person, when it comes to completing task, I want “clear [assignments] and specific objectives, clear instructions” (Meyers-Briggs, 394). I just want to get straight to the point; I don’t like to ponder over directions. Directions are supposed to instruct you on what to do. Sometimes certain Professors will ask open ended questions then bash you on your answer because obviously it was different from theirs. I just want teachers or Professors to state exactly what they want so there is no misunderstandings in what you are suppose to be doing.

The final characteristic the Jung Typology test touched on was ability to evoke feelings when I am writing and dealing with others. I automatically sympathize with people; I think it was something I was born with because I have not been able to stop showing my emotions even when I don’t want to. When I write I “prefer topics [I] can care about” and “tend to draw upon personal experience” (Meyers-Briggs, 403). I personally write better when it is an important issue to me because then I write from my heart. On topics I don’t care about, I tend to bullshit my way through. Why spend your time writing about something you really don’t want to write about? Evoking my feelings in my writing makes “it difficult to write critically if [I] believe that the criticisms may hurt someone’s feelings” (Meyers-Briggs, 403). I don’t think it’s a bad thing to consider the feelings of others when writing. No one wants to be offended or feel uncomfortable. I’m not saying that this applies to everyone, but it applies to me because I always take others’ feelings to heart when I make decisions.

I really appreciated my results from the Jung Typology test. They were interesting and confirmed my writing and learning skills.


Your Type is
ESFJ

Extraverted

Sensing

Feeling

Judging

Strength of the preferences %

44

38

62

33


ESFJ type description by D.Keirsey
ESFJ Career Choices by Jung Career Indicator™ Provides the list of occupations most suitable for your type taking into account the type formula and strength of the preferences. Based on a sample representing 40 most popular and high-demand occupations.
ESFJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss

Qualitative analysis of your type formula


You are:

  • moderately expressed extravert
  • moderately expressed sensing personality
  • distinctively expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality



Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Your Real Terrorist is at Home



"...the apparent coldness and selfishness of mankind may be traced, in great measure, to a want of attention and a want of imagination." (Bate, 132)

My name is Osama Bin Laden. I am the man pictured in the image; a man that has been the subject of mass hatred in your country for more than a decade now. I am presently wanted dead or alive with a $25 million dollar reward put on my beloved head. The fact that I have been incognito for the past seven years and not been captured by the so called "most powerful nation in the world" shows that either your country is not as intelligent as it portrays to the rest of the world or that I am too clever to be caught by a country that would train "terrorist" to kill its own civilians. I believe it's a little of both.


Yes I am responsible for the September 11, 2001 attacks on your "cultural wasteland and moral sewer that [is] not worth living in and not fighting for" (D'Souza, 49). Your country disgust me; I cringe when hear "the United States of America," which is not so united since half the country wants to be in war and the other half chooses to go against their own leader and oppose war. It isn't so united in the way that half of the country supports the act of killing unborn babies that could grow up to be strong soldiers and the other half supports the birth of little hoodlums that are going to grow up spoiled and materialistic like the rest of their fellow Americans. Your men are shameful when they allow their women to walk in public with little to no clothing on. Your women are disgraceful and disrespectful when they feel they have the right to stand up to a man. Your country is so caught up in unnecessary things that they forget to teach their children about religion and moral values. The United States of America needs to fix its own problems before it tries to invade on other countries.


"...the U.S. itself is a leading terrorist state..." (D'Souza, 51)
Your country has its hands all over the world. Why? Why does your country have soldiers stationed all over the world? Why are there not Cuban soldiers or Iran soldiers stationed on United States' soil? Your country has a double standard on the rest of the world. You feel that you can do certain things like set up military bases in other countries, but if another country even posed the idea of stationing soldiers in your country, the idea would be shut down immediately. Why does your country feel like it is better than all the rest? "America has terrorized others in the past and therefore should not be surprised when it is terrorized in return" (D'Souza, 50). Does Guantanamo Bay, Hiroshima and Nagasaki ring a bell? Look at the image and imagine how many lives are perishing in the fires of your atomic bomb. Then imagine how you would feel if 20,000 tons of TNT was dropped in your backyard. Before you go writing me and other Al Qaeda members off as being "terrorist" remember how inhumane your country has been.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Can't Justify Radicals



The tragedy of 9/11 hit close to home for everyone who considers themselves Americans. It didn't matter if you were related to anyone who was murdered that day. As Americans, we were all able to feel sympathy for the thousands of lives lost. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my junior high Algebra class when there was a knock on the door. One of the Office Aides signaled for me to come to the front office. I did not know that only moments before, as the image illustrates, that thousands of people were losing their lives because of misuse of our commercial aircraft. As soon as I walked through the glass doors, I saw Amber, my brother's girlfriend, holding her blood shot red face crying. I did not know what was going on, but I felt a sudden wave of fright come over my body. She then told me about the terrorist attacks and since my brother was in the military, it was expected that he was going be shipped off somewhere. At the time, we did not know who the actually terrorist were. I'm guessing as soon as news broke out about the attacks, the military began to prepare to take immediate action. I did not know anyone that was on one of the planes or anyone that perished in the World Trade Center, but I was personally affected by the tragedy because of my brother's military involvement.

There is speculation about who is the actual blame for 9/11, either the actual individuals that planned and executed their plans or individuals from our own government. The only people that are responsible for the nearly 3,000 deaths on September 11, 2001 are the radicals that flew planes into American buildings. The image shows the faces of all the victims of that horrible tragedy. How can we not blame them for all of those faces of mothers, fathers, daughters, and sons? They made a conscious decision moments before they executed their horrific plans knowing what the results would be; no one should take responsibility for their choices. From reading Enemy At Home by Dinesh D'Souza, it is my understanding that the hijackers felt very strong about their decisions. They felt that they were honoring their religion. D'Souza also gives an explanation that the hijackers could have been manipulated "through incentives such as the promise of an eternity in paradise attended by seventy-two virgins" (D'Souza, 38). I'm not trying to take up for their actions, but they had a psychological belief that they were doing something for the greater good. They were so devoted to their cause that they began to distance themselves well in advance from those that they cared about, which shows they knew what they were doing and to what extent the impact would have. It's as if they were giving their loved ones enough of time to adjust to the fact that they would not live much longer.

Another reason why we should acknowledge that terrorist groups were responsible for 9/11 is that they took time and strategically planned out an attack that would damage America at its core. These men came from above average backgrounds; some were even educated and trained in the United States. "9/11 required a degree of imagination, precision, and coordination of which insane people simply are not capable" (D'Souza, 34). To not place the responsibility on the hijackers and those who helped plan the attacks would be totally wrong. These men were well aware of what they were doing and how bad it would affect the American people.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover


Our world is filled with so many stereotypes. I don't know if we were born so stereotypical or if it was something we learned from our environment. I attempt to not judge someone based on their looks but sometimes an occasional comment will surface from my lips. One stereotype that I had in common with most Americans after 9/11 was against men that looked as if they were Muslim. I found myself searching the faces of individuals when I walked through airports and when I boarded planes. I remember a flight I took to California last Christmas, and I just happen to be sitting to man who was Middle Eastern. Before the plane took off, I recall praying to God and asking him to make sure my family and friends knew how much I loved them if something bad happened. Of course with the tight and tedious security at airports now, I knew that it would be very rare that a copycat of 9/11 was likely. In the back of my mind, I knew that you cannot fully trust security so thats why I said my prayer. That was not one of proudest moments because it showed that I can be a hypocrite. I am one that likes to judge people based on their personality and not on their looks.


The Qur'an and related readings emphasized the idea of not being close-minded, to open myself to all possibilities. The image of an open head illustrates how I should process my brain to be more complex and how I should be more considerate of other's beliefs. Another stereotype that is perceived all over the world is the dominance of men over women. Men are seen as stronger and having an advantage over women mentally, which is believed because women tend to be more emotional than men. Women are seen as the person that takes care of the children and does the housework. It has gotten to the point where people say "Oh, their father is babysitting them." How does a man babysit his own children? Raising children is seen as a woman's job and not as a combined effort between a man and a woman. Theses same roles are applied when thinking about the contents of the Bible or other religious texts. There is just this impression of a masculine God; I believe that God is a male figure, but the Qur'an suggests that there is a more feminine side to their beliefs and there's value to the presence of a woman. A philosopher named Muid ad-Din ibn al-Arabi "believed that women were the most potent icons of the sacred, because they inspired a love in men which must ultimately be directed to God, the only true object of love" (Donovan, 322). This belief portrays the importance of women to God and that they are of vital importance to men. It seems as if men's faithful relationship with God is dependent on women teaching men to love. I really like this statement because there is a sense of equality between the sexes in relation to God. Afterall the Qur'an explains that "their Lord answered them, 'I am never unmindful of the work of a worker among you, male or female. You are from each other.'" (Qur'an 3:195) This gives the idea that in order for one sex to be in existence, it is dependent on the existence of the other, which can be illustrated by the proponents of reproduction; men and women both have to contribute something in order for the conception of a child to happen.


Recognizing the equality of sexes in the Qur'an gives hope that we, humans on earth, will be more tolerant of the importance of both sexes and the influence one has on the other. It goes hand in hand when individuals debate over religion. We are so caught up in being the best that we fail to realize the possibility that there can be truth on both sides. "The Koran clearly states in several passages that any person who lives a life of holy reverence is welcomed into paradise regardless of their religion" (Donovan, 320). If everyone actually believed in the words previously stated, then we would live in a perfect world where everyone's beliefs were respected. I would not expect the Koran to say this, but that is why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. It is nice that the Muslim religion respects the beliefs of other religions.