Don’t Judge A Book by Its Cover

I can honestly say that I try my hardest not to judge people on their appearance when I first meet them. I would be lying if I said that I did not. However, I catch myself when I do make the horrible mistake of judging individuals. The reality is that we live in a diverse country. America prides itself on being a melting pot of different cultures and races. Within those different cultures are different people such as homosexuals, women, Hispanic males, Asians, etc. Since we are a country of diversity, there is a sense of competition within us. We like to believe that our train of thinking is the best, which makes it harder to accept others for who they are if it goes against our train of thinking.

(This is an image of children holding a globe together. There are hands that represent all ethnicities and both genders. The one thing the share is the globe, which represents their home and future,)

The story of Johnny Lee is an excellent example for this point. “Korean society, as many will tell you, is generally not accepting of gays” (Lee, 879). This statement proves why it was so difficult for his family to accept his sexual orientation. Our stubbornness to always think that we are right has the power to blind us from accepting our loved ones. This is so bizarre to me. I’m not a parent, but I can imagine myself handling Johnny’s situation in the opposite manner. I am a strong believer in the Bible; I can say that I do not follow every word it says, but I do believe in its content. Perhaps since I have not read the scripture in the Bible that states being homosexual is sin may be the reason why it is so hard for me to grasp the fact that every homosexual will burn in hell. I agree with the last psychiatrist, Pastor Richards, when he says “’I don’t know why God would create gays and say that being gay is wrong’” (Lee, 878). This relates to back in the day when being black was viewed as something wrong. I’m pretty sure that non blacks would say that I and all blacks would go to hell. My African-American grandfather died when I was three. I would like to think that he is heaven because of his desire to help others and not in hell because he is black.

Maybe the correlation between slavery and homosexuality hits close to home is the reason why I have NEVER viewed homosexuals as devils or hoping that they burn in hell. I strongly feel that society is afraid of what they don’t know. Just like when we were kids and we did something bad; we would be frightened by the punishment that awaited us once our parents found out what we had done. Not being able to know the reason or future of something drives people crazy and allows them to draw to absurd conclusions such as “’You [can] be cured right away’” if a homosexual visits a “special doctor” (Lee, 877).

We all have the capability of accepting everyone we come in contact with. We will not always agree with the practices of others, but we should impose our views as right when confronted with different lifestyles from our own.

Not judging a book by its cover ties in nicely with Oleanna as well. The Professor, John, mistook Carol as an innocent student with desperate need of his help in understanding the course. In the words of Ryan Edwards “the stupid bitch” had her own hidden agenda for talking to her professor during office hours. He thought she was “an incredibly bright girl” with the capability of starting over and beginning on a clean slate (Mamet, 10). This one mistake by the Professor cost him his career and drastically changed his family.(This an image of Carol sitting in John's office. She looks timid and shy, but deep down inside there is another person waiting to come out.)

He let his personal problems consume him and allow the opportunity for a young woman to slip in overtake him during a vulnerable moment. Sexual harassment is a serious charge and will stick with a man for the rest of his life regardless if he’s guilty or not. We discussed this in depth in class so I don’t want to be repetitive, but this point cannot be stressed enough. The hugs I love to give people when I see them can be taken out of context if I was male. So where do you draw the line? Don’t touch at all. This is a sad point but I believe is the only a problem like this can be avoided. It is true that when the Professor touched Carol, it was to console and calm her down. But when looked at by crazy girls like Carol or when being provoked by outside sources, a simple hug or touch on the shoulder can do serious damage.

With the no touch rule, Professors don’t have to look at their students, females in particular, and determine if touching them will result in life changing outcome. After all when they would be looking at their students, judgment will be involved and as you can see the eye can be tricked by the front certain actresses or actors can pose.

Identity

"Our beautiful America was built by a nation of strangers. From a hundred different places or more they have poured forth into an empty land, joining and blending in one mighty and irresistible tide." (859C)

In our journey to find who we are, the first place to look is where you come from. The ethnicity you identify with, the culture you were raised in, the religion you were taught while growing up, and your sexuality can all be starting points for developing or evaluating who you are. Society has us divided by race; the most commonly acknowledged are Asian, African-American, Caucasian, and Hispanic. These four classifications are based solely on physical features, the darkness or brightness of your skin color, the shape of your nose, and the color of your eyes. These are features that most ethnicities have in common, which makes it easy to identify what ethnicity an individual is. Sometimes there are exceptions to the rules where someone appears to be a certain ethnicity but has features of another. For example, my great-grandmother has chocolate brown skin with beautiful blue eyes. Chocolate or brown skin is associated with an African-American and blue eyes typically belong to Caucasians.
(This is an image of a face that consists of several ethnicities. It illustrates how four individuals of a different gender and ethnicity can have something in common despite the fact that they don't look alike.)

Before we get to personally know someone, inferences can already be made just by looking at their physical appearance. This is how stereotypes are formed; once multiple individuals of one race associate themselves with the same task, others begin to associate the entire race with that task. For example, construction workers tend to be Hispanic. So when someone thinks of the job choices of a Hispanic, one of first things that comes to mind is that they are construction workers. These stereotypes tend to lead to misunderstandings and inflicts certain abilities to ethnicities. History plays a major role in where stereotypes were formed. Parents tend to pass down their beliefs onto their children, which can cause a negative stereotype to stay alive for many years.

When it comes to our physical features, we did not have control over which ones we were born with. Once you are older, some alterations can be made but for the most part your physical identity will not change. This makes me unable to understand why some individuals choose to mistreat others because of their physical features. I believe that God created us in the exact way he wanted. The different ethnicities and hair color allows our world to be diverse. No two people look exactly alike and that was for a specific reason. So, who is the judge for deciding the right way to look? There isn't one because there is no right and wrong way to look. Society has a tendency to negate someone or something that is different from the norm. Just because a person has blonde hair in a room full of red heads does not make the blonde haired person wrong, and it should not be the final component when determining the knowledge and abilities someone possess. When it is time to truly figure out who you are, the most important thing is to look on the inside because you have a choice of what goes on in the inside, your thoughts and feelings.

Nowadays, not only do individuals experience discrimination based on their race but now there is heavy tension on sexual preferences as well. In my opinion, sexual preference is not something you choose but just another feature you have no control over like race. "I never found a place where I fit in, where my identity wasn't qualified by my race-and later by my sexual orientation." (Ramirez, 838) This is a major fault in our society; the fact that we judge others according to a difference we see in them and not allow them to fell at home in our communities is something that needs to be changed. Some individuals that may share the same sexual orientation or race as you can also be judgmental if they feel you are not representing them enough. The essay by Anthony R. Luckett explains this idea. He was biracial and faced the from dilemma of fully being accepted by both sides. "To my Korean friends I always felt like the token black guy. To those two black men who passed me on 43rd Avenue one indelible night, I was a 'Chink.'" (Luckett, 865)(This image is a representation for the GLBT community. They have been fighting very hard to gain acceptance into the greater community.)

"Race matters. And it doesn't." (Luckett, 866) It is good to acknowledge your race because it provides you with a community inside our bigger community, the world. Each race has its strengths and weakness, but the strengths outweigh the negative aspects of each. It is good to acknowledge where you can from because it does play a role in who you are. In contrast, race does not define who you are. You can rise above the mistakes all races have inflicted on each other and learn from them. Race should not matter when you are looking for your soul mate or next friend. Sexual orientation does not define who you are and what you will accomplish in life. Once we are able to grasp the beauty of all races and sexual orientations, that is when we will be able to grow as individuals and understand the world we live in.

Compassion 2

The Chain Reaction

When I think of anything, I come to the conclusion that it is as a result of something happening previously. Anything that pops into my mind I can relate it to an action that happened before it. For example, a person can have a third degree burn because they touched a hot stove. A person can gain weight because they have high levels of stress and turn to food for comfort. I can feel excitement because neurons in my body sensed excitement when I received a phone call from a guy I really like. Whatever it is, every action causes another action; the reaction or second action can be good or bad.

Knowing about this chain reaction of things I began to think about how my present actions will affect my future. I have a tendency to brush my thoughts aside when I know that I am doing something bad but always seem to regret my decisions. I constantly ask myself “What was the point of doing that if you know it will not result in anything positive.” I believe it stems from the human being tendency to be ignorant and having to find out things the hard way. As I begin to grow, I am starting to realize that there is not much more room for ignorant mistakes because they can have major consequences. It seems like most mistakes children and teenagers make are overlooked and not giving too much thought; it is seen as a learning process. There is little room for error when a person becomes an adult.

(This is an image of the death row table where death row inmates receive their lethal injection. Some mistakes are irreversible and are not easily forgiven. Death row inmates commit the ultimate mistake with the worst consequence, death. How ever long it took them to commit their crime, which is sometimes a matter of just five minutes, has caused them to lose their life. Maybe if they would have thought about the results of actions they may not have to be subjected to capital punishment.)

Reading Medicine and Compassion I am learning various techniques doctors can use when dealing with patients, but the one that stands out to me is the necessity to fix yourself first, to show compassion towards yourself before you transfer that compassion to patients. “In order to guide someone else, you must have knowledge based on personal experience.” (Rinpoche and Shlim, 110) Basically before you try to teach someone or express compassion to them, you have to have previous experience of knowing how to show or personally receiving such emotions. This concept can be applied to many things in life. For example, before someone can be a physical trainer, they have to endure the many exercises or techniques they plan to teach their clients. A karate teacher has to complete several test before they become a black belt and with such high rank they are qualified to pass on their skills to others.

I am happy that this novel explores ways to soothe patients during a very emotional and traumatic time of their life. I am more interested in the ways of preventing that patient from being admitted into the hospital. I know they have an illness that is taking a dangerous toll on their life, but what if that could have been prevented. My biology class has taught me that some heart diseases are brought on by behavioral factors. For example, Coronary Artery Disease can be caused by bad diets.

More specifically I want to know if such practices like meditation and relaxation were taught at younger ages, would there be a decrease in the number of behavioral diseases. I wonder if we learned to let things go and stress less could we indeed live longer. Decades before this one individuals lived to old ages like ninety and eighty years old. I believe the difference between our generation and theirs is the fact we have a lot more meaningless things to do. There are just things we consume our lives around, and they have no real contribution to the good of us like constantly stalking celebrities. Yes, it is interesting to know what other dumb mistake Britney Spears has made, but her life has no effect on ours personally. I believe there is no real focus on the well being of ourselves mentally and physically, our body and our mind.

(This is an image of young children meditating. It is quite a site because children are normally running around getting into everything. This is outside the norm, which is what needs to happen for individuals to do something they are not use to. Furthermore, to train the mind to go to a relaxed, it needs to start early so it will eventually be done with out much thought.)

“So the obvious question is what method could reduce suffering, or bring about freedom from suffering altogether, for ourselves and others?” (Rinpoche and Shlim, 129) I do not believe all the world’s problems would be solved if we stressed less and focused more on our mind, but it would definitely help. The constant pressure for a desired result drives us crazy; we are in frenzy during the process of trying to produce a certain product and are frenzied when it does not come out as planned. Also, constantly thinking “Is this going to lead to bad health, or is this going to result in me dying in four years is stressful?” But if we thought more about the consequences of our actions, we would not have to rely on doctors to show us compassion when our bad mistakes have caught up to us.

P5: Leadership in the Future

Community service, scholarships, donations, establishing a nonprofit organization-these are all different ways an individual can give back to their community and share their success with others. Over the past few years, I have come to learn the importance of giving back. One can give back to the town they came from or to an organization they have an interest in. All that matters is someone devoting his time and/or money to others who are in need. This idea of giving back goes hand in hand with my “passion for helping those all around me, more specifically putting others’ needs before my own.”[1] Giving back to society, whether it’s one individual or a group, is a form of helping others. My leadership vision will be centered on giving back to my community where I was raised and to someone across the world.

“We must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”[2]

About one year ago when I was making preparations to come to college, I found myself in one of the most important interviews of my life. The Terry Foundation, which is a foundation that grants full scholarships to approximately three hundred students from five Texas Universities, selected me as one of their candidates for their prestigious scholarship. The interview is the last stage of the application process, and I was blessed enough to be chosen among thousands for the opportunity to make a lasting impression on five individuals whose decision determined whether or not I would enter college with a financial burden. I was sitting in a comfortable leather black chair with my hands folded in my lap and nerves rushing all over my body at uncontrollable speeds when I was asked the question “Upon receiving the Terry Scholarship would you be willing to give back to the Terry Foundation with your time and/or financial support?” This was the last question I was asked and the most important one to the panel of judges because four of them were previous Terry Scholars recipients and one was the Vice-President of the foundation.

[3] (This is an image of my friend Hannah and me. We were at a Banquet Dinner for the Terry Scholar recipients. I was able to meet many individuals that were also fortunate to receive the scholarship and administrators that work for the foundation.)

Looking back on that day I realized that was the longest question discussed, which shows the importance of giving back. They ultimately wanted to know if I was just interested in taking their money to fund my college education or if I was going to in some way show my appreciation by helping future Terry Scholars.

This experience sets up my first leadership vision. I am going to establish a scholarship for my high school, Crosby High School. I actually began discussing this plan with my family last semester. The specific dollar amount has not been established because the scholarship will be funded by three different individuals and the geographical distance between my brother, grandfather and I has not given us an opportunity to talk face to face about the Collins Family Scholarship. I plan to have at least five hundred dollars awarded to the first recipient. First, I will have one scholarship recipient and increase the number every two or three years. I ultimately want to help students pay for more than just books. I believe that a scholarship that funds at least one third of tuition prices would be very beneficial to students.

I also have to be realistic. Since I will still be in college for the next seven or eight years, it will not be easy to contribute a vast amount of money to someone else unfortunately. When it comes to my contribution for the scholarship, I have several alternatives. Since I am fortunate enough to have my tuition and housing paid for by the Terry Foundation, I will contribute any excess financial aid towards the scholarship. If that results in a low amount, I will use a portion of my salary from my future job. I will start working this summer and part time once school begins in the fall. Once I start working, I will then determine how much I can save every week specifically for the scholarship. For the time being, the Collins Family Scholarship will only be able to pay for books.

The criteria for the scholarship will not be too difficult because I know how hard it is to balance school work, college applications, scholarship applications, and extracurricular activities at the same time. The main three qualities I will look for in candidates will be financial need, leadership experience, and academics, but the deciding factor will be the effort put into an essay explaining why they deserve this scholarship. I am sure that some specifics of the scholarship like the amount or criteria may change a little because time will develop better ideas, and I am open to change that will benefit the recipients.

I am very excited about this scholarship and proud that I have the chance to give back to the high school that paved the way for me to attend college. The scholarship will go into effect in the next two years. During this time I will also contribute to the Terry Foundation. Until I get out of college, I will volunteer my time on the panel of judges and interview potential Terry Scholars. I will also volunteer in the various community service activities all Terry Scholar recipients and staff members participate in annually. For example, I am in the process of registering for training so I can be a counselor in an organization called Safe Place. It is located in Austin and many "Terrys" have volunteered their time once a week to aid in the lives of women who have been abused mentally and physically. Once I have a steady job after law school, I will not only donate my time to the Terry Foundation but also my funds. At that time, I should be on the level of the typical thousand dollar donor to the foundation.

My passion for helping others mostly involves me having a one-on-one conversation with someone and coming up with a plan to make them feel better. The establishment of the Collins Family Scholarship and my contributions to the Terry Foundation with money and/or time will allow me to help strangers; individuals I probably would not have come in contact with if it was not for either of the two scholarships. That brings joy to my heart because they are in a sense just like me. We will have the common factor of being financially unable to attend college and the generosity of strangers allowing us to fulfill our dream of attending college. That is why I am thrilled to now have the power of influencing someone else’s life on a grand scale.

My second leadership vision will be one of the most important tasks I will ever accomplish in my life. It will allow me to help some of the people I love the most, children. In the next year, I will sponsor a child in Africa. Children are the innocent victims of life's mistakes; they have no control over what happens to them in the first part of their life especially in Africa. The conditions in most parts of Africa are not suitable and adequate enough for children. There are internal conflicts and wars plaguing the continent. There is the epidemic of HIV/AIDS in many of Africa’s villages. There is inadequate education and sanitation for the precious lives of children. I know that sponsoring one child from the whole continent will not fix the problems of Africa, but it is a start. I believe that I could change the life of a beautiful little girl or a curious little boy in a way that could be prevent him from joining a guerrilla warfare group that rapes young girls or if she is the first female in her family to attend school and not become a mother at the age of fourteen.

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”[4]

[5] (The image shows a village of children. Looking at these beautiful children, the eye sees that they are in need of food. Their rib cages are showing, and their stomachs are poking out more than they should. I hope that I will bring joy and food to a village or one child like the ones pictured above.)

At first, I wanted to adopt to a baby from Africa, but recently learned that taking a baby from their country have the possibility of doing more harm than good. Marie Manil stated “Babies need to be raised in their environment and by their parents.”[6] I recently attended a panel about the war and conflicts in Africa. That is where I learned separating children from their homes and families may not be the right thing to do was first introduced to me. I believe that allowing a baby to grow up in an environment that is filled with his or her culture and being helped by an outsider will be the best alternative. I would not want to be taken away from my mother and family because we are living in poverty. When there are no material things and other luxuries, all you have is each other, your family. It is wrong to take a mother’s baby away because she lives in poverty. Helping her provide for her children will be the best solution. Family and culture help shape an individual’s identity.

Once I become a sponsor for a child in Africa in the next year: “[I] can change the world one orphaned child at a time by sponsoring a child or village in one of 132 countries worldwide. In addition to providing the basic necessities of food, clothing, education and medical treatment, [my] sponsorship will provide the most important gift of all to children who have nothing - a family." As a sponsor, I will be able to do various things such as "[getting] to know [my] sponsored child through letters and pictures, [receiving] updates about [my] child's progress, and [supporting] the needs of all the children living in [my] chosen village." [7]

I will start off with twenty-eight dollars a month. Again I am faced with the reality of being a college student with not a lot of income. I will set aside “X” amount of money each week, which will be determined once I get a job. This leadership vision or goal is not hard to accomplish because it only requires a withdrawal from my bank account each month with not a lot of hard work on my part besides making sure the funds are there, but most importantly it will allow me to express my passion for helping children.

Both of my leadership visions are very attainable in the next two years and being in college is the perfect place for me to fulfill my visions and improve them in the future. First, college provides me with a degree that will allow me to have a good paying job in the future. I am a government major and plan on attending law school. A government degree can open up doors to become a government professor, lawyer, or government administrator. It does not matter which profession I choose because I will still be able to fund the Collins Family Scholarship and a child in Africa. When I look at some of the courses I am taking, the fact that I am in college seems more and more meaningful. Presently, I am in The History of Modern Africa taught by Professor Falola, which is one of the non-United States History classes Plan II requires of its students. Learning about the history of Africa enables me to know exactly how I am making a difference in a child who was born into a country with a profound effect on the world economically and politically. I am also currently taking and will take more government classes, which will help me get my Bachelor’s Degree and acceptance into law school. It is like a chain reaction; the government class will assist me in getting the government degree which will help me get into law school which will influence the profession I choose. Lastly, my profession will provide me with the funds for the Collins Family Scholarship and children in Africa.

[8] (This image illustrates the domino effect or a chain reaction. As soon as one domino falls, the rest will fall one after another. It shows how one event or action starts the process of collapse; the falling of one domino is caused by the falling of the previous one.)

My passion for helping others will make my life worthwhile and a blast to see how each day plays out. I anticipate the moments when I can hand out my first scholarship and when I send off my first check or withdrawal to a beautiful child in Africa. Even though I will not be in their lives everyday, I hope they will always remember the moment when a stranger showed them love and compassion. “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.”[9] I hope that they can one day too sit down in front of a computer and write about their leadership vision that will play a profound role in someone else’s life.

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Word Count: 1,960

[1] http://99percenthappyjess.blogspot.com/2008/03/p4-revised.html

[2] Acts 20:35 God’s Words of Life For Teens

[3] my own picture

[4] Edward Everett Hale http://www.quotegarden.com/helping.html

[5]http://images.wildmadagascar.org/pictures/ankavandra/akavandra_kids_07.JPG

[6] “On War Babies” Marie Mainil, New School for Social Research

[7]https://www.sos-usa.org/cgi-bin/sos/jsp/US_sponsor.do?lang=en&site=US&nav=3.2&currentStep=1&submission=1_1206997506194&et_cid=2&et_lid=2&et_sub=sponsor%20a%20child%20in%20africa&BV_SessionID=@@@@1281308744.1206997506@@@@&BV_EngineID=cccfadedjieidmfcfngcfkmdhkhdffj.0

[8] Benjamin Disraeli http://www.quotegarden.com/helping.html

[9] http://www.affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/falling_dominos_small.jpg

Does Our Past Determine Our Future????

In many aspects of life, statistics and demographics can give you an approximate answer to just about everything you can imagine. If you want to know how income effects your chances of going to college; a graph will be able to show you that it is more likely for you to pursue a higher education if you were raised in a household with a high income. If you want to know a good estimate of how newly registered voters between the ages of 18 and 21 will vote; you can look at the cohort their parents fall under and be able to see if they will most likely vote Democrat or Republican. There are many more instances where outsiders can look at your background and make a close estimate of future decisions you will make.

It is not hard to believe that the way you were raised has a tremendous effect on the type of person you will become. I imagine that in the field of psychology psychologist will dig deep into your past to find the source of your problems or to help build towards a solution. In The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison introduces several characters that represent many individuals that exist in the world today. Cholly, who is Pecola’s father, represents all of the fathers that have molested their children or even pondered the notion. Pecola represents many young girls that do not possess inner beauty and rely on the approval of others to feel worthwhile. There can be a case made with both of these individuals how their past determined their future.

(The image shows a young woman feeling abandoned. You can see it on her face and by looking at the gloomy colors the room portrays.

Cholly was not raised by either of his parents. His father vanished before he was born and his mother dumped him by the railroad when he was four days old. He was raised by Aunt Jimmy, who was his mother’s aunt. The fact that he was not connected and abandoned by both of his parents already puts him at a disadvantage. He was loved by his aunt, but it is unlike the love between a parent and offspring. His abandonment issues began before he was born and paved the way for the road he would travel in the future. After his Aunt Jimmy died, Cholly ran off to find his father. If he was successful at finding his father, it would give him a sense of what to do next in his life and would fill the gap in his life of not having a father figure. Also the journey to find his father would allow him to not focus on the death of someone that he loved very much and who loved him dearly, his Aunt Jimmy.

Besides having to face being abandoned, Cholly developed a sense of hatred towards women that never went away. This began when he and Darlene were caught having sex by two white men. During this ordeal, Cholly “hated her…He almost wished he could do it-hard, long, and painfully, he hated her so much.” (Morrison, 148) I believe his hate for her stemmed from the fact that she witnessed him being humiliated by other men. There is a sense of pride and strength men possess, and when that is taken away, they feel inadequate and less of a man. The fact that Darlene was front and center of this humiliation resulted in him placing the blame on her. “For now, he hated the one who had created the situation, the one who bore witness to his failure, his impotence. The one whom he had not been able to protect, to spare, to cover from the round moon glow of the flashlight.” (Morrison, 151). Not only was it the fact that she witnessed him being humiliated, but it was also the fact that he could not save her from being exposed to strangers, individuals that had no respect for her and her race.

(The image shows an eye shedding a tear. It is representative of the whole novel. There struggles faced by individuals, which reflected back on the families as a whole.)

This situation forever placed a negative connation to women in Cholly’s eyes. He was not able to sympathize with women and their feelings when it came to sex. This was illustrated when he raped Pecola, his daughter. His psychological block against the feelings of females allowed him to take the innocence of his own daughter, her virginity.

I’m not saying that the blame should be placed on his parents for abandoning him at a young age and the two white men for spying on him while having intercourse, but they had a major impact on his decisions. He was not raised to have respect for women, a trait that should be taught and shown by fathers. The fact that he grew up in a time period where blacks were inferior to whites resulted in him doing an act against his will; he could not stand up to whites because there would be serious consequences.

I believe Cholly is a classic case of individuals not being able to rise against the wrongdoings that was done to them in the past. “He acts out the aggression of all the domestic and social systems that caused a child to ‘literally fall apart.’” (Bump, 213) He was not able to get out of that psychological state of negativity. It is possible to grow from the circumstances you endure when growing up and learn what the right to do is.

I grew up without my father most of the time because he let drugs and alcohol consume him, which was brought on by issues he faced growing up. My mother worked majority of time, which resulted in me being home alone sometimes. I did not let my “abandonment issue” determine who I was going to become. I had it set in my mind that I was going to get away and become the best person I can be. Looking at the fact that I was raised by a single mother with low income, statistically I am not supposed to be at The University of Texas and especially in Plan II. I am just an example of how individuals can beat the odds and do what is not expected of them. Don’t get me wrong, my past has determined my future; it was just in a positive way.

P4: revised

"What I spent I had; what I saved I lost; what I gave I have.”

-Ancient Epitaph [1]

[2]

(The image shows three different clips from the movie, but I want to focus on the bottom snapshot. It illustrates how he rolled out toilet paper on a subway station's bathroom floor for his son to lay on because they did not have money to sleep anywhere else.)

The one thing I appreciate and love about being a citizen of the United States of America is the opportunity to pursue just about anything I can dream, whether it’s my dream of becoming a judge or opening up my own cheerleading gym. Chris Gardner, who was the inspiration of the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness,” was able to go from spending nights in public bathrooms with his son to becoming a successful stock broker on Wall Street. Christine Collins, my role model and mother, was able to go back to college at the age of forty to pursue her dream of getting a degree in business and a higher education while at the same time raising my two brothers and me and working a full time job as a Supervisor for MHMRA. When I look at extraordinary individuals like Chris Gardner and my mother, I get a sense of hope that I can express my passions through all of my dreams. My passion for helping those all around me, more specifically putting others’ needs before my own, has consumed my life. If I were asked the question “Would you still fulfill your passion for helping others if you were not getting anything in return?” My answer would be “YES!” That is why I have no doubt in my mind that my true passion is helping others to the best of my ability.

I do not know when I discovered my passion for helping others. I believe that it had something to do with the way my family raised me. Up until the age of nine, I was the baby of my immediate family; I had an older brother, which made me the one being taken care of and watched carefully. This brings my to the assumption that my ability to consider the feelings of others did not start in my immediate family but started over the summers I spent with my two cousins, Patricia and Courtney, at my great-grandparents house. Looking back on those summers, I came to the conclusion that females are naturally born with a bossy gene. It makes us want to have our way all of the time and throw temper tantrums when things don’t go the way we want them, which is exactly what happened when the three of us played together. As the youngest, I was always forced to do what the other two wanted. Majority of the time Courtney and Patricia would fight over whether to play Restaurant, an activity where we would make mud pies and cakes out of dirt and water and gather vegetables out of our great-grandfather’s homemade garden to make salads with the leaves we snatched out of the big tree. The other alternative was to swing on the homemade swings our great-grandfather made for us; one was made with a chain tied from the tree and a seat made out of wood and the other was made with ropes that hung down from the big tree with a seat also made from wood.

[3]
(The image of the oak tree is very similar to the one I use to play underneath as a young girl. Oak trees provide shade and play areas where children can escape the heat in the summer.)

There were only two swings, which were always taken by the two older ones. So I was left to pretend that I was driving the broken-down riding lawnmower that was placed nearby our play area under the tree. Since the swinging would not include all three of us together, I always wanted to play Restaurant so I could be a part of the group. The dilemma of which game to play came up just about everyday and because of seniority I really did not have a say in what we were going to do. Until, one day I came up with what I called my “brilliant plan”; I thought of a way to combine playing Restaurant and swinging at the same time. I decided that our restaurant could have a delivery service; we could use the swings and the almost ancient lawnmower as the vehicles. It took our imaginations to have the swings as cars, but we all loved the idea. Since a restaurant always needed at least one person there, it eliminated the possibility of one of us, usually me, being excluded from the swings. Ironically, the lawnmower was the closest resemblance to a car so the first person who wanted to deliver our gourmet meals always ran to the lawnmower and not the swings.

That was my first experience of finding a method to compromise between several tasks and ensuring everyone was included and satisfied in a given situation. I remember feeling really good about being the one who thought of the solution to our daily problem especially since I was “the baby,” which seemed to mean I was not capable of coming up with good decisions. That warm feeling inside stuck with me; I love the fact that I am capable of fixing things for other people. I like to ease the burden on individuals when they feel that they are unable to do so.

Once I reached the age of nine, I was forced to solve another dilemma: making sure my younger brother did not harm himself. When he was born, I immediately assumed the role as big sister; it was my personal mission to make sure he would always be in good hands. From the moment he started to walk it seemed as if trouble was just one step behind him. He hurt himself in just about every way one could imagine; at the age of two, he split his nose in half while jumping on the bed. Shortly after, he pulled our living room television down on top of himself. To add more injuries, he burned his arm on the barbecue pit at a family function and broke the other one while roller blading. Since he was an accident prone person, I felt that as his older sister it was up to me to protect him from himself. I began to watch him very carefully and was selective in whom he played with and what activities he did. I felt like an overprotective mother, but I made it my personal responsibility to look after him when my mom was at work. Even though my brother did not directly come to me and ask for me to protect him from getting hurt, I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. He is nine years younger than I and sometimes does not realize that his dare devil stunts will mostly likely result in another trip to the emergency room. By me being his brain, so to speak, he has not had a major injury in a couple of years; I strongly believe that is a result of me being there for him

. [4] (The image provides three concepts that are illustrated when helping others. A sense of healing is the outcome when someone has the chance to express what they are going through and the privilege of having a friend listen. Hope is felt when I have the opportunity to see someone walk away with a better prospective on what is going on in their life after I offer my help to them. Lastly, comfort is felt when they feel like they are not alone in their situation.)

"Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing." [5]

-1 Thessalonians 5:11

When my friends nicknamed me “the therapist,” it came as no surprise. I love to sit down and genuinely listen to the experiences they have gone through and try to help them find the best method of dealing with their problems. I believe that my ability to listen and discuss issues with people stems from my own personal desire to have someone to confide in. Not only do I know how it feels to not have someone to talk to, but I also know how it feels to have someone sit there and appear to listen when they really are thinking about other things.

I want people to always remember the one time or multiple times that I have helped them. I want them to never forget that I listened to what they were going through and gave them reliable advice that was not skewed just to make them feel better. I am truthful when I help others because I would want the same if I were them. Having the opportunity to help others ultimately benefits me without my knowledge. When I experience some of the same situations as the individuals I have helped, I already know how to analyze them and find a solution that will be beneficial to me, and I am able to make an objective decision. Honestly, when it comes to giving advice, I tell people what I really want to have the courage to do deep down inside. They are kind of like my therapy; I can almost always see a little piece of me in those I help. When I see them following my advice, it gives me a sense of hope that I can do it as well.

[6] (The image is an illustration of a poem, which shows the benefits of helping others. It explains my statement of the gift I receive when I am able to do things for other people.)

My passion is one that is beneficial to everyone, the helper and helped; the world would be a far better place if more people thought of others. I am not sure of where to draw the line between looking out for yourself because one can not rely on others to solve their problems and between putting others’ feelings ahead of your own. I would propose that everyone do at least one good deed for someone else everyday without the expectation of getting something in return.

Since I began at a young age showing my passion, I am confident that it is indeed a passion of mine. "The Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted..." (Isaiah 61:1) [7]

My body seems programmed to help others. When someone is upset or just looks like they are having a difficult time, I run to their rescue. I feel obligated to see how I can fix their problem. The happiness and feeling of accomplishment that comes along with my passion drives me to want to reach out and help others in all aspects of my life, even in my dreams.

Word Count: 1,588

[1] Ancient Epitaph

[2] http://reporter.blogs.com/risky/images/pursuitofhappynesscomposite_1.jpg

[3] http://Ih3.google.com/.../DDU8tu1VYY/s800/DSCN2736.JPG

[4] http://www.hopealiveusa.org/images/tulips_hope.jpg

[5] Brummet, Nancy Parker; June Eaton. Prayers for Life. Publications International Ltd, (Illinois, 2002), 74.

[6] http://www.freewebs.com/royleebarrett/If%20You%20Help%20Others%208%20X%2011%206-2005%20JPG.jpg
[7] Brummet, Nancy Parker; June Eaton. Prayers for Life. Publications International Ltd, (Illinois, 2002), 80.

Blue Eyes

Reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, I was reminded of an obstacle that my community, the black community, has been facing for decades. We feel that we are not good enough and that we have to succumb to the typical stereotype of an African American. I came to this assumption only by being observant and reading novels such as The Bluest Eye, and Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor. I believed it was implanted in our brains and passed on during the turmoils of slavery. It seems that this view is slowly subsiding because African Americans are accomplishing phenomenal tasks, but nevertheless I still see it in existence. This is most evident in some blacks blaming whites for their way of life; I have heard this accusation from some of my family members. I do not agree with them because America has advanced to a time where all ethnic groups have the same opportunity to pursue a higher education. This can be illustrated by looking at my new community, Austin. Austin is flowing with individuals of many different backgrounds and ways of life. So, it is bullshit for blacks to blame another race for not having the opportunity to have a decent life. With that being said, I also think it is bullshit to say that our government is free of racist individuals. It is too soon after the whole Civil Rights Era to believe that all negative feelings towards blacks has subsided.




(The image illustrates Barack Obama speaking to a crowd of hundreds maybe thousands. He is an excellent
of a successful African American. He graduated from college and went on to pursue a career in law. He has written two bestseller's novels. He currently is running for the President of the United States. This would not be possible if he had a mentality that others were going to define the man he would become.)






Being treated as objects and animals during the periods of slavery had us, the black community, questioning ourselves as children of God as all of us are, whites, Asians, Hispanics, etc. Somehow there was validity of our appearance being searched for. That is understandable since, as Toni Morrison pointed out, desirable things like baby dolls portrayed beauty as being white. I cannot comprehend how that must feel. Growing up I had dolls of lighter and darker skin; so I did not question the color of my dolls when I received new ones year round. In the novel, Claudia refers to her baby doll as "I could not love it." (Morrison, 21) There was such a hatred in her heart for what was portrayed as beautiful, being white with blue eyes, that there was no way to express love for a material thing such as a doll.


(The image shows a blue-eyed white baby doll. Similar to one the Claudia disfigured in her rage against a doll she could not identify with.)





This is not only a problem in the black community but all around. Sometimes we rely on the opinions of others to feel good about ourselves. It's as if the world has to say we are beautiful and worthy of that job or that lifestyle. I fall victim to this sometimes too; it's a psychological barrier that needs to be torn down. I can see how this would be hard to overcome in a time period such as the one in The Bluest Eye. Those in power, which were only whites at the time , instilled this horrible notion in those who were different than them. Pecola believed that she was so ugly and resorted to thoughts such as "Please, God...Please make me disappear." (Morrison, 45) This little girl is screaming self-esteem and self-identity issues. Her situation does not improve either; when she visits the Yacobowski's Fresh Veg. Meat and Sundries Store, she endures the store owner "[hesitating,] not wanting to touch her hand." ( Morrison, 49) It is one thing for an individual to feel they are inadequate, but it is totally different when others express the same views and act on their thoughts. Many young girls suffer in this way. It is up to the family to instill the power of having self-esteem into children. Fathers and mothers should always remind young girls of their beauty because girls have the tendency to search for assurance outside their home and normally in a negative environment.

(The image shows a little girl of color embracing a little white girl. This is a perfect illustration of how we, as Americans, should embrace the different ethnicities we are blessed to have in our country.)





"Shame is a crucial response, as is the related but more common fear of abandonment, especially when triggered by equating physical beauty with human value." (Bump, 189).

It is extremely shameful to equate beauty with the value of a human being. As humans, I believe we were all born by design of God. We have no control over being born black, white, with blue eyes, with brown eyes, with a big nose, or with small lips. It is complete nonsense to harm others because of their physical features. There is no right and wrong race. There is no good or bad hair. Most importantly, there is no right color of eyes. Such stereotypes were formed over the years by individuals trying to portray themselves as being higher beings and better than everyone else.

It saddens me to know that characters like Claudia and Pecola from The Bluest Eye actually represent so many individuals that lived through the years of slavery and discrimination in our country. I am hopeful that we can rise above the bad decisions a group of Americans made and unite to become a successful and diverse country.